Here I am again, getting back into the groove of things. It is now August, and skool is right around the corner ready to fill my life with uncontrollable emotions. Needless to say, I can't wait to get it over with. No, this post isn't about Scool, or about emotions, although, you would think it would be, I was just trying to set a scene. Fail'd terribly, but still. My post is about how I am wrong about a lot of things, a lot of times.
Through-out my lyfe I have had huge mis-calculations that have thrown me into a tailspin of self-loathing, and you know, all that jazz... I can think of a couple that are still pretty fresh in my mind. I wish I had had better understanding to fix these mistakes of my youth.
Getting a Girlfriend Sophomore Year: Some would not call this a mistake, but I would. I didn't need a girlfriend, I wass just following in the path of my friends, I remember we had that stupid competition to see who would be the last person in the crew to kiss a girl. I got so caught up in that, that when I met this girl, I had no intrest in her personality, I was looking at her looks, and the fact that she was willing to kiss me. I also remember getting tormented with a running joke of "if I didn't get a kiss from a girl, I was going to get kissed by a guy" this was not even close to funny, it made me nervous to hang out with people I thought were my friends. I was in a constant defense-mode. To those who partook in this "joke", Screw you. (it's harsh, but it has to be said. Aren't friends suppose to support their friends?) But as it turns out I got incredibly annoyed by her, and eventually -but not surprising- she cheated on me. It ruined what could be a great friendship, and I said some things that were hurtful, so did she. I would just like to say I ma sorry for all that happened in that period of time.
Leaving Early from Beirut: I am actually pretty sad that I missed this concert. I really liked this band, but my ride wanted to leave, and I did not want to try and find another way home (Which I found out could have been Cory Cooper). I am not mad at my ride, I am mad at myself for not being presistant. I am also upset with their shirt selection... I mean it was almost as bad as Ben Folds' shirt selection, which consisted of one shirt that really just plained stunk. I wanted a cool shirt like all the shirts I saw others wearing. What the heck. I digress- I vow never to leave another concert early again*.
Not Being More Nice Last Year: I wish I would have had a better attitude about people last year, no offense to anyone, but people suck. I just wish I had taken the time to make more friends, and complimented more people, more often. I saw this as a real kick in the pants, people don't like mean people. I was a loner, and being a loner is not the way to be. Good thing I have one more year to make that up...
These are the things I could think of....
enjoi
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Nice post, bro. It's important to learn from our mistakes and then do our best to not to regret the past, or else--like you said--it will create a cycle of self-loathing. It looks like you're doing a good job of gaining an understanding of yourself and life through your experiences; there's just one point I disagree with you on. When you said you have one more year to make it up, actually, you have the whole rest of your life to be whatever you want to be. It's nice to have a good high school experience, but once it's over, it's over and it will be what it was, and like every other experience you can only learn from it and move on.
ReplyDelete(full circle! Woot!)
I didn't want to leave Beirut early either... They were not bad.
ReplyDeleteThe problem you'll find in your last year is getting caught between two ideas: firstly, after graduation, it (even more so) doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you; or secondly, maybe it's worth the remaining time to finally meet the people you've hated for years. It's tough, but I chose the former. Maybe a mistake, I don't know. Maybe I'm too apathetic.